The Questions I Ask Myself Before Saying Yes

Practical decision-making filters to use before taking on projects or roles.

One of the hardest things about being in between roles, or consulting, or just figuring out your next chapter, is that everything can look like an opportunity. Someone reaches out. A friend suggests a project. A client offers something quick and scrappy. And in the moment it’s tempting to say yes to everything. Why not, right? You never know what could turn into something bigger. Sometimes it’s just a phone call. With a follow up phone call. And then maybe another.

But over time I realized not every yes and every conversation moves you forward. Some yeses leave you drained. Some yeses eat your calendar but not your bank account. Some yeses feel exciting at first and then turn into dread. I’ve learned (the hard way, trust me) that having a few filters helps. It gives me a way to slow down before I commit, and to be honest with myself about what I actually need right now.

Here are the questions I’ve been using lately before I say yes:

1. Does it give me energy, or take it away?
Not everything you do is going to feel like your life’s passion. And honestly. that’s ok. That doesn’t mean it should be an immediate no. But you know pretty quickly if something leaves you lighter or heavier after the call. I’ve taken projects that paid well but drained me, and the cost was way more than the invoice. My wife was so sick of hearing me talk about how miserable I was working on it, that I realized it was time to let go. If the idea of sitting down to do the work already feels like a weight, that’s usually a sign it’s not the right yes.

2. Does it pay me fairly for my time?
Money isn’t everything, but it matters. If you’re consulting or freelancing, you need to protect your floor. I’ve done the “well maybe this will lead to more later” deal enough times to know that if someone doesn’t value you upfront, they rarely will later. Sometimes equity or access can be worth it, but you should still know the math you’re comfortable with.

The truth is, that you’re gonna chase work. That means you’re going to take a lot of calls and do quite a few zooms where you are not compensated for your time. And that’s ok. That the cost of looking for work. But there’s a line where you will start to feel like you’re being taken advantage of. Like maybe they’re just trying to get as much free help as they can from you.